Hate To Exercise

Written sometime in December 2020

Every now and then I keep coming across all these articles or ads for almost miracle like exercise regimes, e.g. loose the back fat in 7 days, get flat tummy in 5 days flat, and all sorts of stuff like that.

Well, let me tell you – nothing works that fast – it’s impossible. Oh yeah, if you crash diet for 7 days and exercise, you may lose half a stone in weight. But as far as I’m concerned – this is false weight loss from what I can see. The minute you get back to eating normally 7 days later, you find that you pile the pounds back on. I don’t know the science behind it, I’m not a doctor – but the best as I can tell, it’s because you’ve effectively starved yourself for a week and your body was eating through the readily available reserves, the left-overs in your stomach, whatever is sitting in your small intestine making its way through to the other end, the liquid bits of food in your bloodstream. Is it really possible to burn through inches of fat on your tummy in 7 days. I’m really not convinces. That’s why, I suspect, that all the qualified dieticians, personal trainers and doctors always advise people to lose weight slowly, exercise regularly, you are then more likely to keep that weight off.

For me, it’s been 8 months of pain, swearing, sweat, tears, moaning to my friends, forced exercised sessions, a month of rigid calorie counting, followed by weeks of just being sensible with my food. I have definitely lost a few pounds and few millimetres off my waist in the first month I picked up exercise this year. But it’s only now 7 months later, that I can definitely say I’ve lost the fat off my back and love handles. Not all of it mind. I still have some way to go. It’s been a steady weight and inch loss however. On average losing around 1.5kgs a months (that’s around 3lb). Several times over I was in that 2 steps forward 1 step back loop. Then complete halt, before another jump down.

Cue more exercise (oh how I hate it), more sensible eating (getting more used to that), perhaps an odd week or 2 of full on calorie counting, to help the process, before I can honestly say that all the fat is gone, other than the layer required for the human body to function properly.

In a meantime, I’m going to celebrate this Christmas – celebrate the fact that I haven’t lost my marbles in the current climate, but what I have lost is 10 kgs off my eight, 7cms off my waist, 6cm off my hips, 1.5 cms off my neck, I dropped a dress size and re-discovered few items of clothing in my wardrobe I’ve been too sentimental about for years and refused to throw away.

When I started this exercise malarkey – well, when I started it, it wasn’t about weight loss or dress size, although I hoped that would be a positive side-effect. When I started the exercise this year, it was all about preparing for a cycling holiday in Asia in January 2021. When I started this exercise, words like coronavirus and pandemic were used primarily by professionals in the medical institutions and rarely uttered on the news, let alone in an every day conversations around dinner table. When I started this exercise blog, the world looked very, very different.

Most importantly however, when I started this exercise, I had a small goal in mind – a certain weight I wanted to get to, to make me feel a bit more feminine, not like such a heifer I’ve been for the past decade (how did I ever let myself get to that).

In all honesty, I never believed I would achieve that little goal, let alone surpass it. Surpass it I did, however; and when I did, I did a little happy jig around the living room. I now have another little goal in my head. I’m already half way to it. The goals I set myself I very small, and in between that I just try to concentrate on 1kg at a time. I’ve come to accept the fact that when those scales finally show that 1kg less, they are very likely going to bounce back to the one above; and it’ll take me at least 2 weeks before I stabilise in the new lower weight, before they start to edge towards the next checkpoint down. This has now been so ingrained in me, I no longer throw a wobbly when my weight doesn’t move for days on end, it’s been a shift in my head that has had a positive effect. Previously that stalemate would send me into the depths of the fridge, but no more. Now all that does is force me to walk to the supermarket that’s further away so I get the air and the exercise needed to persevere, and choose soup over roast for dinner.

I think the point of all these quick fix, challenge Exercise Regimes claiming to have fast effects is a more subconscious one – the hope that after 7 days, when you start seeing some results you make that exercise a habit. Well, if people picking these exercise routines are anything like me – no chance in hell. Habits take anything from few days to several months to form. For those interested, there’s a cute little article about it on BBC (https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/why-new-habits-are-so-hard-to-stick-to/p07zqc7w) And I’m definitely in the latter category when it comes to exercise. In fact, even though it’s been 7 months of regular exercise, I tell you this for nothing – it’s still no a habit in my life. Still hate it, still have to actively force myself to do it.

So here it goes – 7 days to flat stomach! I don’t think so. More like 7 months. It is hard work that: hurts, demoralises, sets you back, makes you hate food and exercise, but as they say – no pain, no gain. There is no shortcut, no miracle tonic, no special treatment, no alternative route. Just hard bloody work, determination, resilience and few good friends thrown in for good measure to support you. 🙂

With that – Merry Christmas (though I’m probably publishing this way into January 2021).

I’ve been resisting buying new clothes.

The other day however, I’ve put on a pair of chinos that I bought in M&S last summer (2019), and they were so baggy on me, that I no longer feel good in what I’m wearing. I’ve try to stave off buying new clothes with a view of what’s the point, since I aim to lose a few more pounds – and therefore potentially few more centimetres of my waist, and if I buy some now, I’ll have to buy more again later. Plus with this whole effing pandemic, there’s no need for smart clothes – I’ve not worn my suits, dresses and pretty skirts in nigh on a year.

The discomfort of looking in a mirror and seeing how everything is sagging and draping around me, as if though it’s been handed down from a cousin three times my size just got too much. So the other day I did what a lot of people do at the moment – click and collect, or click and deliver. Online shopping has never been my forte, I much prefer to see things in person and try them on before buying, alas the world we live in does not allow for that at the moment.

I spotted a pair of jeggings on the Next website, and it being Next I bought a pair in size 16 – thinking that their sizes can be a bit tight on me. Size 16 whilst being my normal (when I was fat) size, they would now fit, whereas previously they’d have been too small. (hmm, does make me think, maybe I was never size 16 in the first place).

Anyway, said parcel arrived and it turns out – they’re actually too big. So – click and return was enacted, followed up by another click & deliver, this time in size 14 – x3. I say x3, because I ended up buying the same style jeggings from next just in 3 different colours. It may seem excessive to some – but the trousers are so nice, with a nice pair of shoes and top, these can be dressed up for work – should I ever see the inside of an office again. Similarly with casual pumps and t-shirt, these do make an fun, every-day outfit.

It wasn’t until I saw myself in the mirror in the new, figure hugging clothes that I’ve truly appreciated how much weight and body mass I’ve lost over the last 9 months. I know I’ve mentioned this before – about losing the spare tyre round my waist – but when you continue to wear the same clothes, you can’t truly appreciate the effects. The net result of this weight loss has been two fold – one, I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror every time I pass it, so much I’m still in awe of my new bod; two, one of the pair of jeggings I bought are light pink in colour. Now I would never have considered light coloured trousers before – what with the misconception that dark colours slim you down. They don’t – if you fat…… you fat…..no two ways about it.

Once again, it is a confidence thing. It’s amazing – or I find it amazing – now that I’m in a happy spot, how much confidence you can gain from losing a few pounds. This has highlighted to me, however, how much my weight has played into my depression in the past – and the comfort eating that was fuelling the perpetual cycle of gaining weight, feeling shit about being fat, eating more, gaining more weight. Now, my depressions isn’t totally linked to my weight – in fact what triggered it was a family event, but when you’re in the spiral, whatever triggered it, becomes just one of the elements that continues to feed it. For me weight was another – weight, and the effects my size had on other aspects of my life: my relationships, my work, even my hobbies.

Moral of the story – I’m not sure there is one, or at least not one for others. I cannot impart moral of this story on others, as I don’t want it to negatively influence some who struggle with weight or eating disorders. For me – the moral of the story has been simple – losing a few pounds has significantly altered my life, the way I look and feel about myself and I should have done this sooner. But if you are reading this – and thinking – oooh I need to do that and lose lots of pounds, please be careful. I’ve lost a few pounds, but I was very much overweight. I’m constantly mindful of not taking my exercise and food – dare I say it – food control, to extreme. I don’t want to go from one of the scale, of an overeating eating disorder, to the other, where I’m under-eating. There is a healthy weight for everyone – and it’s not the one we set ourselves – it is the one that doctors, real doctors advise us of. So please read this with caution. If you’re looking to shed few pounds – great, just don’t shed too many.

Rights, that’s my pearls of wisdom shared. I’m off to the kitchen – there’s a slice January cake waiting for me on the table with a dollop of cream. And if you’re wondering what a January cake is – basically a Christmas cake, only half in size with hell of a lot more booze in it 🙂 Well, it is Saturday morning.

7 days to flat stomach – yeah right!

Emperor’s New Clothes – November 2020