26th October 2021

Well, I haven’t yet manage to lose those excess 3kgs of this year’s gain, but – and it’s a huge but from someone like me who Absolutely Hates Exercise – but I think I’m on my way to doing it.  Slowly, persevering, but doing it.  I’m back in that Pendulum Mode I was last year, losing couple of hundred grams one day, only to regain it next day – and over again – before the scales would finally settle on the lower number, much to my delight. 

So what’s so special about today’s note – possibly the note that I’m exercising again, and doing it of my own free will, and on my own.  My exercise buddies have ‘given up’ for the moment (a long moment by now), and yet despite that, I’ve had quite a few Exercise sessions this October.  I’ve done few HIITS; some very, very long walks; couple of major dance sessions; and – and this is huge for me – I have even gone for a run.  3 times now.

The part of town where I live – the housing estate as I call it – but it is in effect just a part of town, that sits on it’s own piece of land, is surrounded by a circular road.  The route around the estate, is roughly 4.2kms long – door to door. It is a fairly nice walk, properly paved, not too busy with traffic as the road doesn’t lead through to anywhere, it simply surrounds the estate, acting as access for local residents.  Any time of the day it appears to be used by either commuters, dog walkers or runners.  It is, actually exactly the kind of place I have always hoped/dreamed to live in – see, looks like dreams do come true.  It’s lovely to be able to step outside your front door and not have to drive for miles to go someone nice for a walk, or take a bus to get to a park.  Living in central London, I could entertain myself with walks through the city – I never felt unsafe, there was always something to see, and it was easy.  However, all the times I’ve spent living outside of London – life wasn’t as simple. The areas I lived in, didn’t inspire confidence or safety, so going anywhere for a walk was an absolute chore. And now, I finally have a walk on my doorstep.  Yey.

Right – where was I? Oh, yes, I was exercising – running in fact.   I was trying to explain to my work friends why all of a sudden I find myself having time and to a certain extend desire to exercise, but I struggled to put it into words.  During my little evening run today, I thought about it again.  The truth is, for the first time in my life I feel settled and Organised.  I have a day job, million and one hobbies, and parents admin to deal with.  However, with the recent move, certain targets, pressures and stresses of my personal life have fallen away, leaving room in my life for – well, life.  Leaving room in my head too.  This in turn translated into me taking some time to re-evaluate some of my interests and hobbies. 

I have always filled my time with doing things – constantly on the go, running around (metaphorically speaking), doing things, attending classes, trying things, painting, playing, working, writing, crafting, ….ing…..ing…..ing.   I know there were times in my life when I did this, in order not to deal with the reality of what was in my head and the depression and anxiety.

Exercise however was never part of that function.  I never had time for exercise, because I was busy doing other things.  I couldn’t sacrifice time for exercise, because that would mean losing this time, which I could spend on other things. 

So with the house move – I took a look at few other parts of my life, my wardrobe for one (pandemic working from home helped), and my hobbies.  And when I say I have million and one hobbies, I maybe exaggerating a bit, but if you ask my friends and colleagues, they will tell you – that it is a small exaggeration only.  Whilst many of my hobbies fall into the category of crafting – these are all very individual, requiring different skills, equipment, time and effort.  I decided to have a little review of my hobbies – net result being, I dropped a few.  No more mosaic tiling, wire-work, writing poetry; no more embroidery, sewing and no more DIY projects for the house.  To be honest, whilst I enjoyed these things I was never really any good at them. I’ve streamlined my hobbies to the things I can do well, or at least I think I’m good at, and things I enjoy the most. This has in turn allowed me to better organise my time and my head, and now I no longer feel that I’m sacrificing my hobby time for exercise and vice versa.

And so it has been, that in the last few weeks – since having finished moving into my new gaff and doing the few little DIY projects it needed, to bring it up to my idea of home, I found myself sitting on a sofa and thinking “now what”.  The answer was, “well, let’s go for a walk, or do a little dance work-out”.  Tonight having finished work, I sat back down on my ‘office’ chair and looked over a To Do list I’ve written for myself in the morning. Item 1 was – do a HIIT session or go for a run – whichever, as long as it’s exercise.  However after last nights major StrayKids/BTS fuelled dance session, I don’t think my legs could do a HIIT and I simply couldn’t be bothered. So, I opted for a run instead, I though it would be easier – what’s more, I was actually looking forward to it!!!!

Right – this is a long diary entry.  So what’s the moral of the story today? The moral is – sort out your head (if you can) and review your junk, you might find you’ve indadvertedly reorganised your life for the better. I have.  Not exactly sure how – but I have.  Will exercise stay part of my life forever now?  I’m still not sure I have an answer to that question – but it’s here for now, and that is good enough.

I’ve bored you enough.  Go grab a cuppa. See you again soon.