Sunday, 3rd of April

It is quite incredible, if you don’t know psychology and how the human brain works, or even if you do – the amount of psychological impact few little numbers can have on our emotional wellbeing.  I want to say more so as a women, but perhaps in this day and age that’s too sexist and not true. 

Last weekend – attended a wedding.  I’ve moaned about it before, but couple of days of too much food, too much drink, too much everything – and it takes a whole week to shift the excess back to pre-wedding numbers on the scales. 

The problem is that in a meantime, the scales are up – and that messes with my head. This morning – this morning I feel on top of the world.  But yesterday I felt like the whole world was pointless, and what’s the point and just wanted to give up on this new Healthy Lifestyle of mine – even though deep down I knew I’d regret it if I did.  In fact I went to bed last night, thinking I might just do that, and not bother with scales today, or exercise or watching my food habits.  But I didn’t.  I got up, I kept my appointment with the annoying item on the bathroom floor, and……… and everything seems positive again, and I regained my motivation.

Now, my numbers from yesterday to today are quite – perhaps not drastic – but significant. I know that’s because all the rubbish I stuffed myself with last weekend has finally made it’s way through my system.  Also – and that’s very significant, I’ve run out of biscuits – so no more biscuit snacking, and last 2 days I have been ever so good with my food in general.  Less bread, more veg and fruit etc.  

Equally though, I know that sometimes something so insignificant as a “.” in a wrong spot can play with my head.  There’s a huge difference between 4.9, 5.0 and 5.1.   That 100grams difference in weight, I mean that’s barely two spoonful’s of sugar in but on the scales in your head, when you’re trying to get to you weight goal – that might just as well be a whole ton. 

Those numbers didn’t do my head any good yesterday.  I really felt down about it.  And if you’ve been with me for a while, you know what that does to my head.  Going to have to watch myself again.  Oh, I hate it.  Never a moment’s peace.  But like I said before, to me this is not something I can ever be rid of, it’s just something I have to manage.  No meltdowns though, ok.  I mean, I can’t promise, but I can try. 

For now, trying to decide – to I pop out for a coffee in the park (but it’s so cold) – or take out some paint brushes and exercise different muscles. LOL. 

Over and out.