Interlude – The Conclusion

Sometime in November 2022

It’s been rough few days – a rough month of weeks really. 

I think when I started with the interlude on the Sleeping Dragon, I was already spiralling out of control and everything was heading towards the Meltdown night.  Of course, at the time I couldn’t see it, I suspected it I guess, but I couldn’t see how bad it would get.

It took me better part of 3 days to get over the meltdown.  Both physically and mentally.  You may find it strange, – it certainly used to surprise me – but an episode like that doesn’t just take it out of me mentally, it wipes me out physically too.   Today is in fact day 4 post episode and I’m still feeling tired.  The morning after though, I could barely get out of bed, and it was a working day.  My girlfriends chattered away happily on our group chat and I didn’t engage with them once. 

But, I’ve come out on the other side, and in one piece.

I have found the back door to my happy box too, which I now have to guard, and ensure I never close that back door, because if I do……. I guess doesn’t bear thinking about it, does it. It wasn’t easy finding that opening, as it was my actions the other day that closed it.  Everything that was concerned with that safe space, the space that was my go to place to keep me in check, everything got thrown out – and I mean both physically and metaphorically.  Whilst it may sound strange, throwing things out metaphorically out from your mind etc, can be just as harrowing as physically, and getting them back – well, I actually think sometime it can be harder than getting back physical possessions.

God, what a difference in a thought process, when things are settled, calm and rational, versus the last few days.  It does make me wonder – how can these 2 people actually be one.

All better now.

Let’s get back to exercise.

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Interlude I – wow, what a drama queen

Interlude II – and it just get more ridiculous

Interlude III – yep, some more

Meltdown – now this wasn’t so great