Mental State – update – 25.07.20

I was just thinking back to the early weeks of the lockdown, back in April, when I was suffering a bit of a breakdown, being stuck inside, not able to go out, meet friends, socialise.   It’s dawned on me that those Shred sessions – to which I have surprisingly stuck for what is now soon to be the fourth month, have been a god-send.  They’ve given me a window to engage with people on basis other than work, provided structure to my days by delineating between my working day and personal time.  As well as contributed to losing some weight. 

Don’t get me wrong – I still weigh in as a healthy baby hippo but I’m slowly moving more towards the pygmy hippo category.  There’s still plenty of weight to be shed, still I’m not complaining.  Well, at least not today.  I’ll leave that for tomorrow morning when I get on the scales and the buggers fluctuate upwards.  I have disagreements with my scales quite often at the moment. 

Anyway, in the weird world we live in at the moment, we are all trying to find a ways of coping, surviving, existing and getting on with things.  I never thought that a 25 minute HIIT session would be my saving grace.  Don’t get me wrong – I still hate it, loathe it in fact – but what I do like are the results.  Slightly slimmer, more toned, few less pounds. 

I have a sneaky feeling that combined with several other techniques I have adopted over the years, the HIIT sessions are also helping me to manage my depression (though not exactly my anxiety attacks).  My depression has been linked to several aspects of my life – my weight, and the feeling of feeling less than adequate as a woman as a result have been a huge contributor.  Thus – in what is likely not surprising to some experts (but who has the inclination to listen to those when your brain in screaming obscenities at yourself), the HIIT sessions are helping with my depression, because the weight loss and inch loss is having a positive effect on my perception of myself.  Oh, I’m sure I could have figured that out for myself some years ago and did something about it sooner – but like I said, when your brain is wired wrong, you can’t see wood for the trees.

Anyway – my weight is less, my head is feeling better, and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

See you again soon. Well – soon(ish), as soon as I get mobilized to write something else.